August 4, 2024|United in Love|Ephesians 5
JD Cutler
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This morning we continue our study in the book of Ephesians. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and open to Ephesians chapter 5, verse 1. Last week we saw Paul transitioning from doctrinal to deeds, from right belief to right practice.
As we have noted previously, Paul spends roughly half of the letter describing what these gentile believers have in Christ. Emphasizing the unity that has been created in Jesus Christ by those who have been saved by grace through faith. We saw last week, Paul make the transition with one of his favorite words. Therefore.
Since all of that is true, this is how you ought to live your life in light of who you are in Christ.
The first thing that he seems to turn his attention to is their shared purpose in Christ. God has so designed the body by bringing together many different people and giving them leaders who would equip them to serve one another in such a way that the body would be built up. Maturing and collectively becoming more and more Christlike. This is God’s purpose for every Christian that they exercise their particular gifts and callings in such a way that the body to which they belong grows healthier and more mature.
The first thing we have to wrestle with is how radically different this purpose is than what we are accustomed to hearing in the modern church. We are much more likely to hear from someone leaving a local body, not that they were unable to minister and serve others there, but that some need of theirs was not met. Right?
Things like, well, we just don’t like the pastor’s preaching style, or we didn’t get anything out of the morning worship service, or we just like a different style of worship. They didn’t have anything for my kids, my stage of life, my special interest, etc…
I don’t say this to pick on those people, but to point out that if their understanding of the purpose of the church is to meet their needs, then these reasons are completely acceptable reasons to leave a church for another.
But, if the purpose of the collective body is to serve one another so that we grow together towards maturity and Christ-likeness, then those reasons sound pretty hollow don’t they?
The second thing we have to wrestle with is how difficult fulfilling this purpose is. It is hard to serve others when it seems they are ungrateful, or content to be served but never serving themselves. It’s difficult to put aside personal preference to serve the greater good of the body. These are not easy or natural things for sinful human beings to do. And Paul understood this. I think this is why in some of the last words we read last week are so informative.
Paul says it this way, vs 15- 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
Paul says this is going to take love.
Maturity and growth in the church isn’t measured by increasing knowledge, although that will surely be a byproduct of it. Maturity isn’t measured by numerical growth in the body, although that will often be a byproduct of it. Maturity is measured in that the body is increasingly loving towards one another.
Maturity is measured in that the body is increasingly loving towards one another.
In verses 17- 32 of chapter 4 Paul gives instructions to the Christians at Ephesus about their new life, again grounding their actions in their identity. Ephesians 4:22-24 (ESV) 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:25 (ESV) 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) 9 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV) 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
In these verses, Paul is helping us understand that to fulfill our purpose we are going to have to embrace our new life in Christ. Which brings us to our text today, where Paul picks up on the singularly most important piece that must be present for the body to build itself up. Love.
What Paul starts in verse 1 will carry all the way through the beginning of chapter 6. When scholars added chapters and verses, for some reason, they chose to begin chapter 6 right in the middle of Paul’s topic on the outworking of love, so we will get into the first few verses of chapter 6 today as well. You’ll understand as we move through chapter 5 why I say that, but for now let’s turn to verse 1 of chapter 5 and read together.
This morning we are going to see the necessity of love within the body, specifically this morning we want to look at three ways love influences us.
Ephesians 5:1-2 (ESV) 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
The first way love influences us is that…
We are motivated by the love of God-
Notice where Paul begins this section of thought. Therefore. What is he referring us back to?
Verse 32- 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore.
Therefore, since you have been forgiven in Christ, because each of you that has been forgiven have been brought together, forming a living temple of the Lord, a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit, and this is only possible because of the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards us in Christ, and only because God forgave your trespasses according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished on us, to unite us to himself through Christ because of grace, not any merit or work on our parts.
Therefore, be imitators of God.
The greek word translated here in the ESV as imitators is ‘mim-ay-tace'’ which has the root word from which we get our english word mimic. The idea here is to take on as a model, or to follow one as a model. This is the thought behind Jewish Rabbi discipleship. Disciples would follow their masters around learning not just their teachings, but their mannerisms, their speech patterns, etc… When they were ready to go out on their own, the idea is that they were replicas of their master. They would model themselves after their Rabbi.
When Paul says therefore be imitators of God, what he is saying is do what God did. That’s a pretty broad command, in what way does Paul mean?
God was immeasurably kind to you, so be kind to one another.
God was compassionate towards you, so be compassionate towards one another.
God forgave your trespasses in Christ, so forgive one another. Do you see?
The way you treat one another in the body is not predicated on what they deserve or how you feel, it is rooted in what has been extended to you by God. Anything less is not strong enough to support the weight of building one another up as we are commanded to do.
The way you treat one another in the body is not predicated on what they deserve or how you feel, it is rooted in what has been extended to you by God.
If your motivation is to serve others as long as you are being served, then when you feel like you are not being served, your motivation will fail.
If your motivation is to serve others is because you think it is the way to experience God’s earthly blessings, then when you go through a particularly difficult season, your motivation will fail.
If your motivation is to serve others for recognition, it won’t take long before your service goes unnoticed and your motivation will fail. Do you understand? This is a heart issue. That this is the issue of utmost importance in the health and life of a church?
Listen, if you are not motivated by the gracious, unmerited, undeserved love of God towards you to be loving towards others, you will not be able to serve long before you are burned out or bitter.
If you are a leader, this is doubly important for you to hear. If you show up week after week, serving as a teacher, a deacon, a pastor, a volunteer, whatever your situation is and your motivation is anything other than a deep love for the people you serve, you will not make it and worse, you are likely to do more damage than good when it finally catches up to you. We are called to give away what we have experienced, nothing more or less. This is where Christianity differs from every other world religion.
In most religions, you have to strive to be acceptable to your deity. Through actions or restrictions, you prove yourself faithful and then if you are lucky your god will accept you in the afterlife, but not so with Christianity. You do not obey in order to be loved. You obey because you are loved. Paul says it this way, Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. Don’t miss this.
Paul says, you are already loved. In fact, you are dearly loved because you are children of God. Of course, this is not new language for Paul.
In chapter 1 he told us we were predestined for adoption as sons, in chapter 2 he told us we are members of the household of God, in chapter 3, he told us that we are fellow heirs and partakers of the promise, in chapter 4 he told us that there is One Father over all.
If you are in Christ, you are a beloved child of God. This has been Paul’s ongoing message in this letter to the Ephesian church.
What motivates us is not that we love and serve one another in order to gain the love of God, but that because we are loved by God, we extend love towards those around us in Christ.
Here’s my challenge to each one of you. If you are finding it difficult to love one another, and I’m not talking about you stay on your side of the church and I’ll stay on mine kind of love you from a distance, but if you are finding it difficult to love one another in the way scripture calls us to, the answer is not try harder, the answer is think deeper.
Think deeper about the way God loved you despite the fact that you were unlovable, that he died for you while you were an openly rebellious sinner, that before your first breath, he chose you to experience the immeasurable graciousness of his loving kindness. Think deeply about the vastness, the greatness of his love towards you and then try to imitate it towards others. This Paul says, is what should motivate us to love one another. I would go as far as to say if you are unable to love the brothers and sisters around you, you have either not experienced the love of God or you have not understood it.
When we imitate God, will we love each other perfectly? Of course not. Will we stumble in the way we love one another? Absolutely. But we stumble forward imitating our heavenly Father. Imperfectly but intentionally. If you need an example, think about what Paul says here, imitate God as beloved children.
Have you ever seen a child imitate their parents?
I’ve seen my own kids, as they’ve grown, imitate their mother and as they’ve gotten older their imitation has become more and more inline with reality.
We have a picture of Lydia years ago wearing a little apron and chef hat pretending to mix something in a bowl. What was she doing? Imitating what she saw her mother do.
Yesterday, she baked muffins for the family, imitating the way her mother provides for her family.
What is happening? Her imitation is becoming more and more inline with reality.
In the same way, as a child, there will be times where you may not understand exactly what you are doing, but you do your best to mimic the love of your heavenly father towards others. As you grow, you will understand better how your love is a reflection of the way he loved you, gradually moving more and more inline with the awesome reality of God’s love, motivated to love by God’s love. This is the first thing that love influences our lives, the second is that…
We are molded by the love of God-
In verse 2 Paul says to walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.
As we noted in last week’s sermon, to walk is the Hebrew way of saying, how you live your life. How you conduct yourself in this life or how you regulate your life.
Literally, Paul says, imitate God and live your life regulated by loving others.
So let’s say, you have thought deeply about the love of God you have experienced. You understand the vastness, greatness, and graciousness of the love God has extended towards you. Now, you might ask yourself, how do I actually express that towards those around me?
Paul immediately, brings the immeasurable context of God’s love from theoretical to practical. You model yourself after the way Christ loved us. How did Christ love us?
Paul says he gave himself up for us. In what way? A fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Our minds might be tempted to immediately go to the cross, right? Where Christ became sin for us, but although we end up there, we should not miss the steps along the way.
Paul says in Philippians that Christ’s offering started long before the cross.
Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV) Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
It began in eternity past, when the eternal son decided to humble himself in the incarnation. To be born as a human, and not any human, but born to insignificant parents in an insignificant corner of the world, in one of the most humble of settings, a stable.
It continued as the creator subject himself to the creation. God in the flesh, experienced hunger, thirst, sadness, and pain.
He subjected himself to his parents and to his teachers.
It continued as he lived a sinless life, walking among sinful humanity. And then, completely undeservedly, allowed himself to be taken, humiliated, mocked, beaten, and then nailed to a Roman cross, in one of the most humiliating and excruciating forms of death.
Why? So that he might reconcile God’s people back to himself.
Why? Because of love. Because he was the only one capable of meeting the greatest need of humanity and making reconciliation possible.
Right before, Paul says in Philipians to have the mind of Christ, he says.
Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV) 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
He goes on after detailing the way Christ loved to say.
Philippians 2:14-16 (ESV) 14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
How do we walk in love? We allow ourselves to be molded into his image of love.
A self-sacrificing, humble, serving love.
How do we walk in love? We allow ourselves to be molded into his image of love.
We don’t have time to touch all of it, but from verse 3 to verse 18 Paul spells out some of the ways this love is manifested.
We strive for purity in heart and speech.
Ephesians 5:3-4 (ESV) 3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
We live differently than the world.
Ephesians 5:7-11 (ESV) 7 Therefore do not become partners with them; 8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
We live wisely in the world.
Ephesians 5:15-18 (ESV) 15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,
Christ walked in purity, as a light to the world, exposing the darkness, and wisely, fully walking in the will of the Lord, filled with the Spirit. This is not a call for perfection, but a call towards a life lived in light of how Christ lived and loved us. You want to know how to walk in love, read the gospels. You want to know how to serve one another, read the gospels. You want to know how to live in the will of the Lord, read the gospels. Allowing the life of Christ and the love of Christ to mold and shape our lives.
Motivated by the love of God to be loving, molded by the love of Christ to be loving in a God honoring way, and finally this morning, I want to show you how…
We are moved by the love of God-
Let’s pick up in verse 18 and read through 21.
Ephesians 5:18-21 (ESV) 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Don’t forget all of this is in the context of walking in love, Paul is not changing topics, but shifting from our motivation and our molding to how we should be moved by the love of God.
Here is what I mean. The love of God ought to move us to exercise our love for the Lord in tangible ways towards His people. This is where the rubber meets the road.
How does the Spirit move us towards loving one another? Paul gives four activities after telling us to be filled with the Spirit, or influenced by the Spirit.
First, Paul says we speak to one another. What are we to speak?
Pauls says psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Most likely Psalms refers to the Old Testament psalms, hymns the various songs of the New Testament, and spiritual songs, most likely referring to personal songs of the heart that in this Spirit-filling context are apparently an expression of the Spirit’s ministry in the individual.
But more than what exactly Paul means is the purpose of these various songs. Speaking to one another.
Unlike the thinking of around our modern day worship, Paul sees the purpose of our worship music not primarily in relation to an individual's expression to God but a collective expression of worship that takes into consideration those around you.
This is why ‘what’ we sing is far more important than ‘how’ we sing it. Listen, many people get caught in the trap of evaluating the music of a church based on style. Maybe you have found yourself in the same trap. I want more upbeat modern music or I want all old Hymns, etc…
But the most important thing is that we are singing truth to one another, that in turn fills our hearts and mind with truth that we can speak to one another. When we come into this place to lift our voices together, the emphasis should not be on how much I enjoy a song, but how Biblically faithful and God-honoring the song is. This is why here at Emmanuel we emphasize congregational singing over what some call special music. None of us should be spectators in the singing of the church, but active participants as we sing lyrics to one another that edify, encourage, and build one another up in the faith. Singing truth together is one way we express our love for one another.
On the other hand, this is not simply an emotionless, cold event, but Paul says we sing and make melody to the Lord with your heart. Our motivation is the praise of the Lord because he is worthy of our worship. It comes from our heart towards the Lord, for the purpose of lifting one another up towards worship of God. Listen, there are weeks where I may not feel like singing, but when I see and hear our people singing truth passionately toward the Lord, I am drawn into worship.
If you are more focused on whether you are enjoying the music rather than singing to the Lord, you have missed the point of why we sing and you are missing an opportunity to love those around you.
The third activity that Paul says will mark someone who is filled with the Spirit is gratitude. Giving thanks always and for all things to God the Father in the name of Christ Jesus.
When we take the context into account, how do we understand what Paul is saying here?
We find this comment sandwiched between speaking and singing to one another and submitting to one another, so it is unlikely that Paul means for us to understand it apart from the relational element he has been highlighting.
Now, Paul does give this command to give thanks always apart from the relational aspect elsewhere, such as.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV) 6 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
But listen to a similar passage in Colossians that may help us understand what he is teaching us here.
Colossians 3:16-17 (ESV) 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Paul says here that our singing and speaking to one another should be with thankfulness in our hearts to God and that indeed whatever we do in word or do, should be done in the name of Christ and with thankfulness.
From these references, I think what Paul is exhorting us to is being thankful in our relationship with one another.
Grateful for the opportunity to serve one another with love.
Grateful for the person we get to serve with love.
Grateful for the gifting or resources we have to serve one another with love.
Listen, it’s hard to grumble about or begrudgingly serve someone if you are genuinely thankful for them.
Try it. When you are tempted to grumble about the pastor or a teacher or leader, try immediately stopping and thanking God for them. When you are tempted to grumble about someone you could serve in love, try immediately stopping and thanking God for them and the opportunity to serve them. When you are tempted to begrudgingly serve, stop and thank God for the strength and ability to serve.
If we can get this gratitude down in your heart, it will completely revolutionize the way you serve one another in love.
Finally, Paul says we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
The word submit means to voluntarily subject yourself to another. In general this is a reminder that we are called to love one another self-sacrificially and with their interests in mind, what is for their good. Furthermore, there is a reciprocal relationship indicated here, that we are all voluntarily submitting ourselves to one another.
To put it in plain english, church is not ultimately about you. It’s about loving God through loving his people by serving one another for the good of one another.
To put it in plain english, church is not ultimately about you.
The love of God and Christ’s love for us ought to move us to love those around us in tangible and sacrificial ways.
From verse 22 in chapter 5 through verse 9 of chapter 6 Paul goes into detail about how this works itself out in our most basic and closest relationships, all under the heading of submitting to one another. Before we touch on those, let’s summarize what Paul has said so far.
In the context of walking in love, as Christ loved us, being filled with his Spirit, we speak and sing to one another scriptural truth in love knowing that it ministers to those around us, we are thankful towards those around us and the opportunity to serve them, and finally we lay aside our rights and preferences in order to serve those around us in love. This is what it looks like to be moved by the indwelling love of God to love one another.
How does this work itself out in our closest relationships, Paul says that wives are to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord, and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord, and Fathers are to bring their children up in the admonition and instruction of the Lord. Bondservants are to work as unto the Lord for their earthly masters, and earthly masters are to treat their bondservants gently, recognizing that to God they are equally as valuable in the Lord as the masters. In everyone of those relationships we could devote a whole sermon to, but for our purposes today, I want you to see that.
In every relationship Paul lists, it is the love of God that is at the center of it all.
The love of God ought to move you, as a wife, to be submitted to your husband.
The love of God ought to move you, as a husband, to love your wife sacrificially.
The love of God ought to move you, as a child, to obey your parents, that he has given you.
The love of God ought to move you, parents, to bring your children up according to his ways, because it is best for them.
Do you see?
The love of God moves you to express your love for him towards his people, beginning with those closest to you and extending out towards those in the church, which makes the inverse true. It's hard to say you love God if you are not expressing love towards his people in ways that reflect his love for you.
Paul places love at the center of our life, both individually and corporately.
God’s love motivates us, it molds us, and it moves us.
Here’s where I want to land this morning.
How important is love when it comes to our shared purpose of building the body up?
The answer is that there isn’t anything more important.
Listen to what our Lord said to his disciples as he prepared them for his departure.
John 13:35 (ESV) 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Not that you go to church, not that you walked an aisle, said a prayer or got dunked.
If you have love for one another.
And not just any love, but a love that mimics the Fathers, that follows Christ’s example, and that revolves around tangible expressions of that love towards those around you.
May God help us to walk in this kind of love so that we may be built up in love.
Let us pray.
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