Singleness in the Church

November 24, 2024|Singleness in the Church |1 Corinthians 7:25-40

John-Daniel Cutler

Click here for the sermon audio

This morning we are going to finish chapter 7 with Paul’s concluding thoughts on marriage. 

As a way of reminder, the Apostle is responding to a letter from the church at Corinth asking him about various issues. Paul’s formula for this is to say ‘now concerning’ and then he goes on to address their question. We see this in the beginning of chapter 7.

1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 

To summarize Paul’s answer, he says “It could be, it depends on the situation.”

His first counter to their statement is “Not if you're married.”

He goes on to say, “If you are single, have self-control, and a gift from the Lord, yes, then it could be good.”

But, he also reminds them that, “each person should be content to remain in the situation they are in.”

On the issue of marriage Paul has addressed those who are married, those who have been divorced, and those who have been widowed. But, what about those that have never been married?

Now, in verse 7 he has already told the Corinthians that he wishes that all were as he was, single. But he also acknowledges that God gives different gifts to different people. Some have a spiritual gift, a special grace, for singleness and some have been given the gift of marriage. 

So it is not surprising that in our text today, Paul commends singleness.

In verse 8 he says, 1 Corinthians 7:8 (ESV) 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

But why?

Because there are benefits to singleness in the Lord. 

We are aware of the benefits of marriage. Companionship, partnership, the blessing of children, on and on the list goes. But have we ever considered the benefits to singleness in the Lord. This morning, looking at what the Apostle Paul shares, I want to give you four benefits of singleness in the Lord for you to consider. 

Let’s read the entirety of our text together and then look at these four benefits. 

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 (ESV) 25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Beginning with where Paul begins, the first benefit to singleness in the Lord is…

Singleness can make enduring the pressure of the times easier. 

To say it another way, there are times when being single is preferred. This is how Paul begins. 

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 (ESV) 25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

One of the first things to address is the way Paul frames his answer. We noted in our study of verses 10 and 12, Paul is not separating what he says from what Christ says in terms of authority, he is addressing the teachings of the gospel, the things that Christ taught about when he was walking with his disciples. Here, when he says he has no command from the Lord, he is saying, I am not quoting Christ here, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore what I am saying. The writers of the NT were aware of the spiritual, revelatory, and authoritative nature of what they were writing. Paul roots his authority in the calling and equipping of the Lord in his life. 

I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 

One who is faithful. Faithfulness, he says, is rooted in the mercy Christ showed in saving him and calling him. 

What is his judgment? I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 

Remember, the specific question he is addressing is those that have never been married. The betrothed, or as your translation may say, virgins. 

But, to keep the Corinthians from misunderstanding and thinking that they needed to be single in order for their situation to be good, he reiterates what we looked at last week. 

Are you bound to a wife, do not seek to be free. (Are you married, do not seek a divorce)

Are you free from a wife, do not seek a wife. (Are you single, do not seek to be married)

Paul is not against marriage and he is not against singleness. He has already said prior that singleness can be preferable, or better, but he is just now digging into why that can be the case. 

The key for us to understand Paul is what he means when he says, ‘in view of the present distress’ scholars disagree on exactly what Paul means here. 

Does he have the end time in view here, or is he addressing a more contextualized and current situation for the Corinthians?

The word itself implies a squeezing, a pressure, either one that is currently happening or is soon about to happen. 

I lean towards the latter understanding, that Paul senses increasing pressure on the church in persecution, in difficulties. 

From some of my studies, it seems that within 15 years of Paul’s writing, persecution began in Corinth that would last in some form or another for 200 years. 

Now, while Paul’s instructions apply to both singles and married couples, his emphasis in this section is those who are single. 

Surely, do not divorce and increase the struggles for your spouse or your family, he has already said that divorce is not for Christians, except in very few situations. Sexual immorality and if an unbelieving spouse desires to divorce a believer. 

But if you are single, in light of what is coming, do not seek a wife. 

Now, we do not live currently in a time where, in the American church, there is extreme pressure from persecution, but there are many in the world today where Paul’s instruction would very much apply. 

I would wager that we would even find it difficult to imagine what persecution would be like, we are so far removed from it. 

But in light of what we see in the Bible and what we know is going on in the world, you can imagine worrying about whether or not someone was going to knock on your door, and if you would not renounce Christ, shoot you. It becomes much more intense if you not only have to worry about yourself but your family. Will they be killed, or worse, taken as prisoners and slaves, where they will experience atrocious things? Even if not, how much worse will it be for them when they grow up? Will they come to faith, will they abandon Christ?

You can imagine worrying about whether or not you can get enough food to eat because you are living day to day becomes much more intense when you are looking in the faces of your loved ones as they suffer hunger because you refuse to renounce your faith. 

As men, when we marry, God calls us to be a protector, a provider, and priest to our family. How much more difficult are these things when we are facing persecution from the world?

Even from our perspective of a relative lack of persecution, and relative safety, we can understand what Paul is saying here. In times of distress, in times of pressure on God’s people, it can actually be better, or more preferred to be single.

I know there is temptation to dismiss this because we currently are not experiencing a present distress, but the danger is that if we do not understand and believe this truth, if we do not pass it on to our children, then when times of persecution come, they will not know how to rightly think about them. 

Just think about a Jewish family settled in Europe in the late 19th or early 20th century. Things were good, Jews were integrated into society, but you could see signs of anti-semitism growing, similar to the way Christians are despised and distrusted today. But do you think that anyone expected what would happen within 40 years when some six-million Jews would be put to death because of their nationality?

Just because we are not experiencing persecution does not mean we do not need to prepare the church, to prepare our kids for the possibility. There may come a time when because of the pressure of persecution, it would be better to be single.

Moving away from social and worldly pressure, Paul moves to domestic troubles. The second benefit of singleness in the Lord is that…

Marriage inherently brings worldly troubles.

Although Paul says, in some situations, like the ones the Corinthians find themselves facing, singleness is preferred, he also does not command it. He goes on to say in verse 28.

 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 

Paul says, even in light of persecution, you can get married, you are free to do that and it is in no way sin, but he wants those contemplating singleness vs marriage to understand that those who marry will have worldly troubles. 

The word Paul uses here for troubles is the word used for crushing, as in when grapes are crushed to produce juice. A pressing together. 

The word worldly I think is misleading in the ESV.

Some translations get a little closer with ‘trouble in this life’, but I think the KJV probably gets closest when it says ‘trouble in the flesh’. 

The word translated worldly has to do with the flesh, the natural part of man, the body, which has been affected by sin. 

I said this a few weeks ago when we started talking about marriage, but the idea of putting two sinners together in the close proximity and intimacy of marriage, the closest human relationship, and expecting that there will be no damage to one another from sin is a fairytale. 

Living with a sinner is hard. I can’t imagine what it is like to have to put up with me. 

Make sure you are regularly praying for Brittany. 

Then what do those two sinners do, because they love each other and imagine bringing these perfect little children into the world, they multiply. And what do you know, they produce tiny sinners. 

Paul says, press all of that into a home. 

Pride, selfishness, self-centeredness, unthoughtfulness, ambition, greed, jealousy, immaturity. Just press all of that together and it is a recipe for trouble. 

Now, I need to say this, before I get into trouble, I love being married. The over twenty years that I have had with my wife is one of my favorite things about this life. Outside of coming to Christ it is the best thing that ever happened to me. 

But, as wonderful of a marriage as we have been blessed with, we, like all married couples, have times of troubles. Weekly, daily, and sometimes even hourly!

Think about it, on our own we have troubles in the flesh, we struggle with temptation, sin, anger, etc…

When we get married, we now have our troubles and our spouses. It is just simple math. However, when you start having kids, I think it gets into some form of algebra because it seems to multiply exponentially.

As we have said, Paul is not against marriage, he acknowledges that it is a gift from God, and not everyone is called to singleness, but he is also a realist in this moment. 

Being married is hard. To our single people, whether our young adults, or our divorced adults, or our widowed adults, just understand that getting married does not solve your troubles, it will inevitably, and inherently, by its nature cause you trouble that you do not have as someone who is single. Paul says, I would spare you that, meaning very simply, when you are single, there are just less troubles you have to deal with. 

This, Paul says, is a benefit of being single in the Lord. Then Paul moves from domestic troubles to what marriage can mean for our walk with the Lord. The next benefit that Paul gives for singleness in the Lord is that…

Marriage inherently divides our attention.

Let’s read verses 32-35 again. 

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (ESV) 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Paul says, I want you to be free from anxieties, or free from care.

Paul is not saying that singleness is carefree any more than he is saying that marriage is always full of anxiety. 

What Paul is getting at is the focus of our life. 

I want you to be free from additional, potentially distracting concerns.

Paul fleshes this out in the verses we just read. 

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 

The married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. 

I think Paul is simply addressing the bandwidth we have to be concerned about things. None of us are infinite in our ability to think, or care, or be concerned about things, we all have a limited capacity. 

Paul says, someone who is single has more freedom to be concerned about how to please the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. How to leverage the totality of their lives to seek the kingdom and the things of the kingdom. 

This goes for the big things to the little things. 

What job do I take? If you are single, you can ask things like how does this free me up to serve the Lord, or what mission field does this position put me in, what impact could I have on the area if I move here. If you are married, you have to ask things like, will this salary support my family, are there good schools in the area, will my spouse thrive there?

What am I going to do today? If you are single, you can ask things like how could I use my free time to serve today, who could I invest in today. If you’re married, you have responsibilities to your spouse, to your children, right. Your schedule is much more demanding. 

By the way, rightly so. Paul is not saying that being concerned for your spouse or seeking to please your spouse is wrong. We know that if we are married, our highest calling is to love, care for, and nurture our spouse. 

Listen to what Paul says in his letter to the church at Ephesus. 

Ephesians 5:25-31 (ESV) 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

However, Paul’s point in Corinthians is that by nature, it divides your attention. 

I feel this tension all the time as your pastor. There are always a million things I could do during the week that would be good for the church and would serve the Lord in the calling he has in my life. But if I am not careful, those things could crowd out the things I need to be doing to nurture and cherish my wife, to lead and love my family. 

The best I can hope for is a balance between my responsibilities, which is what Paul says. My interests, or concerns, are divided. 

He says it is the same for married women. 

Now, it bears saying that just being single does not inherently mean that the things of the Lord have your undivided attention. I would argue that the singleness of the world today actually encourages the opposite. It encourages people to be single so they can focus more on themselves, more on self-care, meeting their goals, squeezing the most out of life, right? In our culture, to be married is often seen as lesser, because you have less time for yourself, whereas, to be single is to have more time to focus on yourself. 

Paul says, that is not the benefit of being single. The benefit of being single is more time to focus on the things of the Lord. 

Does this mean that marriage inherently means you won’t be effective for the kingdom? Of course not. Many couples see their marriage in light of the kingdom and are powerful instruments in the kingdom of God. All Paul is saying is that there is inherent concern for your spouse that even in the most God honoring marriage, will distract your attention. 

Again, Paul is not telling us that to truly honor God we need to be single, he says, I am not laying any restraint on you, I am not commanding you to be single, I just want you to understand that in your singleness you can have undivided devotion to the Lord. 

Which is a great question to ask yourself this morning if you are single right now. Am I using my time and energy concerned with the things of the Lord, or am I using my time and energy concerned more about myself?

Lastly, Paul is going to remind the Corinthians of what marriage means. 

There is a freedom in singleness that does not exist in marriage.

Again, Paul emphasizes in verses 36-38, you are free to marry or not marry, neither is sinful. For the majority of people, marriage is good and beneficial, but for those who God has called to singleness, there is an element of freedom that those who are married do not have. Listen to the way Paul closes out this section. 

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Although Paul uses the idea of a wife, this certainly applies to both husband and wife. 

Here is the extreme, radical, counter-cultural idea of marriage that Paul has.

Are you ready? Marriage is a life-long commitment.

Hear me when I say, no fault divorce does not exist in the Christian worldview.

It amazes me how many people stand before God and pledge until death do us part and mean, until I get tired of them, or until someone at work catches my eye, or until our kids move out, etc…

Listen, I get it, I grew up both in the church and in an age where divorce had become normal inside and outside the church. 

Both of our parents married, divorced, and remarried, multiple times. I did not enter our marriage with a biblical mindset, but thank God, that he got me there quickly. 

But for our young people, for those yet to be married or contemplating getting re-married, you need to understand that Biblical marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. 

Are there exceptions, yes, we have already talked about those, but the rule, the God designed institution of marriage is lifelong. 

The word bound that Paul uses is strong language. Literally chained. 

Paul’s point is that it’s a permanent union. 

This is what Jesus taught. In Matthew 19:9-10 he says (ESV) 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

In other words, you can’t divorce unless there’s continual, unrepentant immorality. And the disciples immediately realize how even counter-cultural this was in their day, and how hard this was. They say. “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”

If you are going to give away your freedom in marriage and be joined with that person for life, you better make sure it is the right person.

Let me sum up what Paul is saying to those that are single. 

If you have been scripturally divorced, if you have been widowed, if you have never been married, you are free to stay single or be married. You have that freedom. 

But, if you get married, you do not have the freedom to dissolve that marriage outside of very limited reasons. For the rest of your natural life, you are bound, within whatever outside forces press on you, whatever inside trouble arises, and with your interests divided between the Lord and your spouse. 

So, if you are single and you have the gift of singleness, understand that far from being inferior, there are many ways that singleness can be superior. There are many benefits to being single, four of which Paul has given us in our text. 

Here is where I want to land as we wrap up our discussion on marriage from 1st Corinthians. 

If you are single, it may be for a season or it may be your calling, either way you are to use your singleness to glorify the Lord, and if you marry, your marriage to glorify the Lord. Whether single or married, live in light of your future in Christ.

Tying in with last week, whatever your situation may be, live for Christ and his kingdom there. Marriage can be a great blessing and singleness can be a great blessing. Accept whichever God has given you and live for him, where you are. 

If you are single, what could you change in the rhythms of your life to focus more on the concerns of Christ than the world?If you are married, what could you change in the rhythms of your life to love your spouse better and pursue the concerns of Christ together?

I pray as a church, we would wrestle with how we can help one another honor God’s truth in our corporate life? 

How does this truth change the way we minister to one another in the midst of the difficulties of marriage? How does this truth change the way we minister to those who are single in our church? How does this truth change the way we minister to our children and teens?

These are the things that I pray our time together in chapter 7 will leave impressed on your minds as we continue through this book. 

Let us pray.